My little garden

Thai chilli ,mint,parsley

One Man Revolution

If you want to be free, Get to know your real self. It has no form, no appearance, No root, no basis, no abode, But is lively and buoyant. It responds with versatile facility, But its function cannot be located. Therefore when you look for it, You become further from it; When you seek it, You turn away from it all the more.

Scorpio: 

Determined and Forceful

Emotional and Intuitive

Powerful and Passinoate

Exciting and Magnetic

中秋夜

海岛八月中秋,芭蕉摇摇,龙眼熟坠.

不知有"花朝月夕",只因年来风雨见多.

当激情招来十级风暴,心,不知在哪里停泊.

道路已经抉择,没有蔷薇花,并不曾后悔过.

人在月光里容易梦游,渴望得到也懂得温柔.

要使血不这样奔流,凭二十四岁的骄傲显然不够.

要有坚实的肩膀,能靠上疲倦的头.

需要有一双手,来支持最沉重的时刻.

尽管明白,生命应当完全献出去,

留多少给自己,就有多少忧愁.

Feel like dying

The Flu nearly killed me. From Monday till now, feel so sick. I stayed away from all my friend, thought if my friend caught a flu as me, its not good. I feel so lonely if somebody can stay with me, give me a bottle of water. It would make me cry. My sister disappeared since Tuesday night. Donot want call her .She is a too busy girl. I just don’t understand her. I don’t want to worry her. It make me headache. I am not happy now I think.

I keep telling myself I am well. I am not good at all. I told my ex-bf online I feel like I want to die during this cold. I feel like so weak, I have nothing for myself.

I need stand up, do whatever I want to do. I goanna run away after I get better. First thing I will get myself some food since last 20 hours and a bottle of water.

Feel so easy to out of control

1.Never ever ask anyone for help.all need done by myself.

2.Feel change ,feel you are living.This is my life.not anyone else.

3.Tell the people how you truely feel.dont be rude and dont be shy.

I feel so stressed these days.But i need make it clear what exactly i want 2 do.Dont make my decision so quick.

So Far Away

Impossible-Manafest

It seems impossible for me to let this go
Feel like an animal, I'm ready to lose control

I got to get away
Got a break away

Take me
Before I lose control
It seems impossible
It's not impossible

I'm tired so tired of walking through this fire
If you want to find me I'll be here in my room

It seems impossible
Crying and hiding this feeling
Running and hiding from freedom
For me to loose control

Jewel - Foolish Games

You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart

Marriage

Listening=Caring

Want to show someone in your life how much they mean to u?-Listen to them!Slow down your own thoughts and acitivites for a few moments and make a concentration.

It is the easiest way to show how much you care.

To my firends ,my lover.They are not the person I just throw away my stress.Its more important to listen what he/she say/want than keep bringing out your ideas and feeling.

From your ears to your heart.

Paulo Coelho

Who is wise?
He who always finds something to learn from others.

Who is strong?
The man who is capable of dominating himself.

Who is wealthy?
He who knows the treasure he has:
his days and hours of life,
which can change everything which goes on around him.

Moment of Silence

Its not easy to calm down.Some things happened these days make me peace off.I picked up smoking,which is terrible.I was looking for a fight,if someone ask for pouch,i will beat him down.I feel like i am going to lose my temper.

What should I say? Its natrural. That only means I am not happy with the thing happened. I need something change, new, different. And how can I get it? Nobody can change it for you in one day.even if somebody can take you a chance, are you really able to do that?

So, It’s very important to Calm Down. Be silent-to know how I can touch my goal step by step, day after day. Thats the only way to take me away from my fear, my non-confidence.

I Am Not My Past

忍 Fortitude & 过程 Process

忍-Fortitude

It takes a lot of emotional courage and mental fortitude to acknowledge that the unenlightened life is characterized by much suffering.

Suffering is caused by attachment, ignorance, mis-perception, and mis-knowing.

But not caused by desire.

过程－Process

For instance, one might say I am bad at spelling . Truth of the matter is, I am bad at spelling because I didnt go through enough Process to get better.

If I learned to think that I am good or bad at something because of the process that I did or did not do than I don’t automatically say I am good or bad at something, I first look at my process and make corrections in my commitment to the process to get better at what I am doing.

How to Dream & Live

Always there is a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.

I am living in Australia now. I speak Chinese English. I am afraid, shy, no confidence to talk to people. I have to get up 420am, catch the early train to work as a sandwich boy. I have to meet the truth; people easily ignore the existence of you. I lied to myself. I was dreaming that someday I would wear suit, go to office like a cute smart business young guy; have a lovely boyfriend then what’s the point for me? Getting a better life, make proud for my parents, stand like a success Asian boy holding a glass of wine in a party. It could be my life. But not now. This moment, what I can reach is face my situation can be easily forgotten by people, but not by myself.

The world never lie to me, only I lie to myself expected somebody can introduce a job for me, open a door for me, people couldn’t do that for me, I will leave them. This is so stupid. Face the truth; I need to know what I like. People will come and go, everybody seems to be very busy.whats the reason I am standing here?

Be with a nice boyfriend, what I can get? Somebody can give me love; somebody can make me feel existence, be attention. But its that the reason because what I can get from them, so I have to give up what I like to do. I need grow up, to build my world. It is very important. I feel I made many mistakes when I lived with somebody order than me.

In the following 2 months, my visa will expiry.I need give myself some pressure now. I need save more money to prepare my journey. I need study more to be ready to get a job.I have dreams,and i have to work hard to achieve it no matter what happens.

Now i am working 3 days.2 days during the week,i am free.I need go for some interviews.During the week nights.I need study english and accounting,reduce the frequency to hang outside.Doing exercise for marathons.It could be very simple and happy.Try my best to do what i can do now.It is very important.I am sure i can live with my dreams.

Don't Try to be Brave

Don’t try to be brave
when it is enough to be intelligent.

Straightly I am thinking about I am out.Thinking about Travelling by myslef.Are those decisions wise?Or right time for me ?

What i have to be concerned about gonna be my dream,and how I am going to go about getting it.I am going to be a successful happy chef who will travel around the world.The  reason are:

I am passion about making delicious food for the people I love.

I cannt be socialized.coz i am so special :) The reason is that i dont like to deal with people who have poor desire/personality.

Cooking need lots of creativities.It includes many elements -culture,histroy,art,philosophy.Most people I will deal with are simple.

I can start business,I can travel.It can be my window to see the world and show my world.

How to get rid of this

My heart is not open ,so where i go?

You r my lesson ,I have to learn.I have to grow up.I have to forget him.Pain is a warning that something is wrong.He is not suitable for me.God,help me out.I have somebody i can love now.I am so sorry.I think i have some mental problem,God,i hate this,hate myslef.

I should not say that.

Stop!I am survived.I showed all things I can .I tried everything I can.Not like somebody never really tried.There is nothing else to lose.There is nothing else for me to stay in this kind of stuation.Fuck!I hate myslef in this kind of stuation so much.

I dont want cry whenever i am too much drink.Its not good.Somebody can have so much love in their life.Why I cannt.I could have different kinds of love.

I have a person I can care about.So,Way.There always a way for me.I am smart guy.I have to stand up by myslef.

The Power Of GoodBye

Your heart is not open
So I must go
The spell has been broken
I loved you so

Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

You were my lesson
I had to learn
I was your fortress
You had to burn

Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long
Do you wanna go higher?

There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Your heart is not open
So I must go
The spell has been broken
I loved you so
You were my lesson
I had to learn
I was your fortress

There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

Learn to say good-bye
I have to say good-bye

Long Life

Between Ignorance and Enlightenment

What is long life for evrything u looking for ?

Ignorance-Enlightenment it can come so closely together.

Never make a reason for the things happened.All the thing happened is Truth.

When it becomes a Truth,Nothing is wrong.

To meet a right person,you only should be right condition.Everyone have different stories and conditions in different stage.Lets have a big love for a person,and you have more achievements.

Kylie Wong

"It should be  a cooking show, not a show on meditation."

"Music sounds like some sort of soundtrack to a brainwashing cult."

"she really really plays up the asia-exotica-mystery thing and makes the cooking inaccessible to sometimes just down right silly-where she made comfort food: fried egg mixed with rice, soy sauce and chili -- we make it all the time at home and without the perfectly julienned chili peppers thank you!"

Anyway,wheather its successed ,It is just TV product.Its for mass media.

Food at home is about simple,easy,happyness,just like roasted potato in christmas or morning sandwich by Mum.

Food for commercial,It varies.

As a talented chef.Its better explain the profound things in a simple way.

Its better to do just one thing best.Culture,food,philosophy.

Love and Compassion

 

Love can pass or not?

When you concentrate something /somebody,it can last long or not ?

Sadness /happyness  all can open another door for you,is that right?

Life have lots of creative,clam doesnot mean death.

I have a long journey .

Overcome the inner sickness of Attachement,Hatred,Jealousy,Desire,Greed and Ignorance.

Lotus-Buddhist-Chef-Travel

To Purify myself

Whenever we need to make an important decision,

It is best to trust your passion,

Because reasons usually try to remove us from our dream,

Saying that the time is not yet right .

Reason is afraid of defeat,

But intuition enjoys life and its challenges.

Note:Am i going to be an accountant,which i will hate it as my career?Am i going to move out ?Its not a simple  question.Leave me some time to think about me and my passion.

I wasted almost 7 years to do nothing.Time to end up shit life.

I want to be a  famous creative chef  in the world.I am well educated.I can do better than others.

Mentally disturbed

My Mum asked me go to a clinic institution after i told her i had sex with boy a few years ago.coz she was worried about my mental health.Yesterday i telephoned my mum,she just finished her operation-excision of whole gallbladder.She possibly heard something from my sister i guess that i stayed a man's place at least twice a week.But my mum didnt ask me if its true or not.Just told me that there is something she wanted to say but dont know how to say,she dont want to be embarrassed.Anyway what she said,i understand.I dont want to hurt her either.But i am going to lie.If she feel difficulty to talk about gay ,thats ok.I wont thrust something to her mind.

Everyone have dreams,that are not necessarily the dreams that our parents or society had for us.so,I must get rid of the idea of fulfilling what people expect us to do,and start to do what i ecpect from my lives.

Dare to be different.

I am unique,and i have to accept me as I am,instead of trying to repeat other people's destinies or patterns.

I have capacity to express my feelings.

From now on i wont fear to share my heart.

I am a free person.

Anxiety

We typically recognize anxiety as anger and known as fear,apprehension or worry.Anxiety is ofetn accompanied by physical sensations such as heart palpitation,nausea,cheast pain,shortness of breath,stomach aches,or headache.

Anxiety when meeting or interacting with unknown people is a common stage of development in young people.

So-called "stranger anxiety" in younger people is not a phobia in the classic sense; rather it is a developmentally appropriate fear by young children of those who do not share a loved-one, caretaker or parenting role. In adults, an excessive fear of other people is not a developmentally common stage; it is called social anxiety.

A more common social anxiety in adults, though, is the stress and anxiousness that occurs when one (of any age-group) fears he will be separated from a group or other emotionally close person/object. This is known as separation anxiety.

Note: I think i feel nervous those days.Have some beer,taking me out of situation for a while.

IELTS exams -I am coming.try 1,2,3.only!

Feel

Come on hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living.
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given.
*******
*******
My head speaks a language, I don’t understand.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins, going to waste.
I don’t wanna die,
*******
Before I fall in love,
I’m preparing to leave him.
I scare myself to death,
That’s why I keep on running.
Before I’ve arrived, I can see myself coming.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins, going to waste.
And I need to feel, real love
And a life ever after.
I cannot get enough.

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in,
I got too much love,
Running through my veins, going to waste.
I just wanna feel real love,
In a life ever after
There’s a hole in my soul,
You can see it in my face, it’s a real big place.

Come and hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living,
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given

Note: i love this song so much.so much.

I wanna contact the living.

Journey With Friends

 

Journeys bring power and love back into you.
if you can't go somewhere,
move in the passageways of the self.
they are like shafts of light,
always changing, and you change
when you explore them.

Curried parsnip soup

For big mouth and lazy people (wei's version)

Heat the oil (any kind of oil) till medium-feel it over the pan -warm. As usual add the chopped onion, celery (amount as much as u want, make strong taste in winter), cooking 5-8 min till onion is soft, a bit yellow burning color.

Add curry powder (madras curry power) 2 tbs, crushed garlic 2,3 cubed parsnip then cook, till u can smell the favor.

Add chopped tomatoes, chicken stock (1L) boil it. Reduce the heat till medium, cook for 20 mins till parsnip is tender

Serve with coriander a bit.Its so easy !Good for winter,Good for man.haha:) as usual !

Just finished clean the baconly. Such a nice day in husrtville.God!shinning on my face make me so ..........beautiful! its already 230pm.one more beer. Please cry for all my friends who at work now!

Chilli for a crowd

Finished all my exams. I was so relieved. So happy. -No party, no celebrate.

My sister worked from 830am till 830 pm. It’s a long day for her. Reminded me the feeling when i was doing similarly work shift last year. Two years study-$26,000+$3300 totally 29,300 only for the study fee. I recognize my family helped me one third. All earned by my hands. Many times, somebody say I have beautiful hands, now all gone.

But I don’t feel sad! It’s life. It’s my life I can feel and I can be so proud about that. I pay for the chance I move to another country that probable I valued what I struggled for the last 2 years. Now I have some plans for new start.

Need-First, I have something need pay off. Sound everything for me is start with money. It’s that because I am young, and I am foreigner here? Anyway I don’t mind if people think I am so care about money now! I need help my sister pay study fees. I need help my sister get married this year; I need organize my mum come to visit us.

Do I really need to do that? Do I have those responsibility? Am I responsible person?

Tell my family what I cant do, what I can do--it is hard, but I will try.

I have some other things to do.

Things must to do-

1.IELTS-i need get 7,so I can easily immi. Here, i will give myself 2 chance.if i can’t pass in this 2 times. I wont try. I need push strategy must love to be pushed :), now, pushed by myself.

So, i start write my blog.practice my English. I can study now!!!! Coz i don’t need pay anything, anything now.

2.JOBs-dueing to weak work experince, start by some contract or part time job first. Stop thinking about change my major, study other courses to make myself easy to get a job!

I am ready! I am smarter than most people at work!

3.Relationship-Give me a break! No painful, I need clam life, no fuckking crazy night dinner,drink.some nice ,interesting conversation is more attractive and helpful for me.

 

Note:something in my mind coz i am in special situation A.It might gone soon.Wei,dont take it serious!

Anyway,if hiroki you see my blog.watch out!As you told,reading and writing can help people thinking.Thanks,friend!

25-June-2008 promised my sister go for a trip.Now,stay home!:(