How to Dream & Live

Always there is a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.

I am living in Australia now. I speak Chinese English. I am afraid, shy, no confidence to talk to people. I have to get up 420am, catch the early train to work as a sandwich boy. I have to meet the truth; people easily ignore the existence of you. I lied to myself. I was dreaming that someday I would wear suit, go to office like a cute smart business young guy; have a lovely boyfriend then what’s the point for me? Getting a better life, make proud for my parents, stand like a success Asian boy holding a glass of wine in a party. It could be my life. But not now. This moment, what I can reach is face my situation can be easily forgotten by people, but not by myself.

The world never lie to me, only I lie to myself expected somebody can introduce a job for me, open a door for me, people couldn’t do that for me, I will leave them. This is so stupid. Face the truth; I need to know what I like. People will come and go, everybody seems to be very busy.whats the reason I am standing here?

Be with a nice boyfriend, what I can get? Somebody can give me love; somebody can make me feel existence, be attention. But its that the reason because what I can get from them, so I have to give up what I like to do. I need grow up, to build my world. It is very important. I feel I made many mistakes when I lived with somebody order than me.

In the following 2 months, my visa will expiry.I need give myself some pressure now. I need save more money to prepare my journey. I need study more to be ready to get a job.I have dreams,and i have to work hard to achieve it no matter what happens.

Now i am working 3 days.2 days during the week,i am free.I need go for some interviews.During the week nights.I need study english and accounting,reduce the frequency to hang outside.Doing exercise for marathons.It could be very simple and happy.Try my best to do what i can do now.It is very important.I am sure i can live with my dreams.